You are The One

It was you all along.

It has always been you.

You are the one that I loved.

The one that molded and shaped,

That twisted and bended,

Scarred,

My heart.

It was you all along.

It has always been you.

You are the one that I loved.

The one that I gave myself to,

Whole.

So Innocently and effortlessly I gave, 

My heart.

It was you all along.

It has always been you. 

You whose betrayal remains imprinted.

Holding me ransom to how I now know,

My heart.

It can be molded and shaped,

Twisted and bended,

Scarred.

It was you all along.

You are the one.

xoxo

Chido Dziva Chikwari

This post was inspired by retrospective thinking and events currently happening in the lives of two lovers that I happen to love dearly and am also very close to. It is based on my own past experience and digs into how I feel a lot of who I am today and my "heart situation" is as a result of past experience or more specifically one bad experience imprinted.

It sucks that it is the times we get burnt that we remember more clearly and oftentimes it is those encounters that leave scars which serve as reminders long after the event. It sucks that most times you can only forget until you are reminded and that forgiveness takes a lot more than just willing away negative feelings. It is a process and heart processes like forgiveness are often the most difficult ones. There is no formula, no timeline, no stamp of completeness.

There is a popular saying that goes something along the lines of the ones we love the most also have the most power to hurt us. Love leaves you venerable and yet it's that openness and venerability that makes love love. Romans 5:8 says, "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." A paradox.

This post isn't about pointing fingers though; kuti ndiwe wakandikanya and you are the reason I'm so cold and bitter. To be honest I'm not entirely sure what it is about and kinda wish that today I had been able to write a bit more about moving past the defining moments when loved ones hurt, betray or dissapoint us and how that is done. That's a post for another day I suppose and today I will have to leave it at that.

Keep shining 😊