Becoming Myself

She started to grow on me

Day by day I felt her becoming more of herself

She began to move with me and within me

The beating of her heart, a part of me

She was familiar, I knew her.

Becoming Myself.

xoxo

Chido Dziva Chikwari

This year has been such a varied experience filled with amazing highs and unexpected lows. I have laughed and I have also cried uncontrollably. I look back at the year past and realize that this is the first year, after so many years, that I have started to truly feel comfortable in my own skin again. I have rediscovered parts of myself that I hadn’t realized I was missing. The piece above is a tiny glimpse of that feeling.

I pencilled these down a few days ago and thought that now would be a good time to share 5 lessons that I have learnt this year in the hope that they will inspire someone:

1)    Get on With It.

I have had some extremely disappointing lows but if there is anything my current standing is testament to it is that you must never allow your low to be your end game. Keep going. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going. You are allowed to feel discouraged, disappointed, disheartened and all the rest of it but once you’ve given it some time get on with it. There is often a reward for persistence. Don’t give up. You have no idea the amazing highs tomorrow may have in store.

2)    You Are Capable of So Much More.

This is almost a run on to lesson number 1 but this year I have been stretched so much. So much to the point where I started to feel like the things I was facing where there to break me. I later realized though that some of the challenges and obstacles were only in place to increase my capacity. Looking back at the year I can safely say that I made it. I did those things that I didn’t actually think I was going to be able to manage. I stretched myself and at the end of the year came out better for it. Oftentimes comfort isn’t good and we hardly grow in our comfort zones. This is not ideal. Attempt that thing that you want to do but fear you may not be able to.

3)    Pleasant Surprises Exist. Hold onto Hope. 

This lesson is somewhat explanatory but I guess what I mean to say is never say never. You never know what tomorrow has in store or what’s waiting for you around the corner. Good things exist and good things do happen. I don’t know what it is you may have given up on and I suppose this action doesn’t require much ‘doing’ but may just be a word of encouragement; doors open in unexpected places and at unexpected times. Don’t despair prematurely. I never thought my life would lead me to where I am today and on many occasions this year God has surprised me. Some surprises even included re-awakening parts of myself I thought were long gone. 

4)    You Have So Much More to Learn.

In many ways, this year has showed me how little I know and also how small I am in the grand scheme of things AND how this is not a bad thing! I now know that there is so much in this world I am yet to take in. I learnt that I must open myself to learning from everyone and everywhere. It is only in opening yourself up that you allow yourself to grow. Learning isn't always easy. In learning you sometimes have to acknowledge your weaknesses, the things you don't know. This can be very difficult especially when you think you already know so much. Growing can hurt and sometimes also means letting go of 'old truths'. 

5)    Peace and Happiness – You Are in Control

The things that bother you don’t have to bother you sometimes. I have carried so much within me for so long! This year I learnt that sometimes it just takes ‘getting on with it’ and opening yourself up to new experiences to find peace and happiness. I learnt that most times both these things lie within and not in the hands of anybody or anything. I feel that so often we relinquish our power to things that are ‘beyond our control’ but sometimes it all lies within us and when you look inside all the answers are there waiting for you. I'll say this again, You are in control.

Keep Shining!