On the Eve of My Dream come true...

If you had told me then,

In the midst of all that darkness,

In the center of desperation and lost hope,

I wouldn’t have believed.

I wouldn’t have believed what I was capable of,

I wouldn’t have believed that I could,

That I would.

If you had told me then!

Then when I had lost myself,

When my head hung low and all I wanted to do was hide,

When I felt I wasn’t worthy,
when I felt I couldn’t speak, succeed, excel.  

If you had told me then!

On the eve of my dream come true,

I’ve found that from darkness comes light,

From desperation springs great strength,

And that when hope is lost all we can hold onto is hope.

On the eve of my dream come true,

Now I know!

I know I am capable,

I know I can.

My head is held high and all I want to do is bear witness!

I am worthy.

My voice is my sword.

I can succeed.

I will excel.

If you had told me then.

xoxo

Chido Dziva Chikwari

In a few days I will be graduating with a Master’s degree. This post highlights a little bit about that journey and essentially what I'd really like is to take this as an opportunity to encourage someone who is faced with seemingly impossible circumstances, someone who has been told that they cannot and someone who also doesn't even believe that they can achieve what may be their hearts desire.

Two and a half years ago I was that person. I was told that I couldn't, I had no idea how I would and I really didn't believe that I could given the circumstances at the time. I was told I was being unrealistic and over ambitions. When I decided to try and asked for help I was also told NO several times. I literally had no hope of ever getting this degree that I wanted so badly let alone complete it in two years and not the stipulated 5. Before I registered there was no money to fund this and when I registered I was also 4 month’s pregnant and working full time. I wrote my first set of exams when my son was just 10 weeks old but in the midst of it all GOD!

I remember saying to my mom, with tears in my eyes, "Mhamha I want to try." and her response without a shadow of doubt and unwavering since was "Okay". I was crazy enough to try and from all around me God raised a literal army of helpers who also believed in me, in the midst of my seemingly impossible situation God raised people who stood by me and were also crazy enough to support me in achieving my dream. People gave of their finances and people also gave of their time. I remember the Sunday before an exam seeing one of my friends drive up the driveway unexpectedly. He had come to babysit for the afternoon so I could study. I had not asked him to come and my plan was to stay up that evening after my son had gone to bed and read till 3am. This wasn't an unusual arrangement. That afternoon when I watched him play with my son so I could in a way make it to where I am today I had tears in my eyes. It sounds a lot like a movie scene but this did happened and time and time again there were instances where I was just in awe at how God orchestrated things. Don't get me wrong, this was not easy. It was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do but it was also one of the most fulfilling things I have done and definitely one of my biggest life lessons.

If there is anyone reading this who is faced with impossible circumstances I pray that my story can give you just a little encouragement. If nothing else, the one thing I want to say is be brave enough and be crazy enough to TRY! In taking that first step you will find all your fears begin to melt away, that help and strength can come from the most unexpected places including from within and that impossible is nothing when a spirit is determined. You will find that that seed that is planted in your heart has the potential to bear fruit. You don't have to see the entire staircase. You don't have to have a well thought out plan or strategy. Start, make an attempt. For me making a start was acknowledging that I wanted to try and then vocalizing this to my mom. I always say this but she literally gives me wings and from that day on we started making purposeful efforts and didn't stop till I was done. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you do not take.

Isiah 43:19 

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.