Thursday 29 May 2014

In Need of an Attitude Adjustment


“You are in need…
In need of an attitude adjustment,
A mental shift,
Perhaps, a renewing of the mind…”
He said.

He said,
I had to let go,
I had to reframe and reform how I viewed things,
To break away from my so called “realities”
And create new possibilities.
An attitude adjustment is what he called it.

He said I was in need,
As if I could magically erase all I thought to be true,
All that encapsulated MY mind,
MY thoughts,
MY feelings,
As if I could forget the past,
 The lessons I learnt,
The scars I still saw marred all over my being…
Fixed by an attitude adjustment,
He said.

“An attitude adjustment,
A mental shift,
Perhaps, a renewing of the mind…”
He said.

XOXO
Chido Dziva Chikwari

Have you ever had to listen to advice you really didn’t want to hear although you knew it was true? Have you ever heard words so honest and straight to the point that it becomes a little difficult to swallow? And although you’d like it to be so wrong you can’t find the words to contend with it, to adequately justify your actions or to stop the conversation mid air?

I recently had an encounter like that and the post tells the story. The moral of it all lies with how difficult it is to accept where your mistakes and your faults lie especially when they are sooo deeply rooted within how you have allowed/made yourself to believe things are.  It really isn’t easy and I’ve come to realise that an attitude adjustment is something easier said than done. The things we come to accept as truth are engraved and formed through many experiences over time and letting go of those things there and then kinda tears you apart because it challenges years of building blocks in creating your truth.  

So what do you do?

Post my experience I have decided to take a few steps in dealing with this ‘new truth’.

·         Step 1 - Analyse the advice. Play it over and over in my mind until I accept it to be true and not a mere attack on me.
·         Step 2 – Retrace. I have now begun a process of retracing where I could have gotten things wrong and hopefully through that I’ll start having light bulb moments that will help me remodel my age old beliefs.
·         Step 3 – Automatic attitude adjustment. (If my steps work)

It isn’t easy but I have feeling it makes all the difference.

Like I said earlier the truth is sometimes hard to take and oftentimes shooting the messenger is a much easier take, however, a lesson I also learnt from this is the value of a friend/brother/sister who tells you like it is. It can’t be easy on the other end being downright honest and today I accept that the hard truth actually comes from a place of love. Make it a point to cherish those that tell you like it is…they are often a rare find J

Shout out to the “HE” that told me I needed an attitude adjustment, my mom, my little sister and 90% of my friends for always telling me like it is.
The hard truth!

  

Wednesday 21 May 2014

Letting it be...

I've decided to let it be,
To let go of the reigns and
Let it be...

I'll go with the flow, 
I'll follow the crowd, 
I'll live a life in oblivion, 
I'll let it be... 

No rules,
No regulations, 
No stopping myself and 
No saying NO! 
I've decided to let it be...

The decision is to stop fighting, 
To squeeze my eyes shut to the walls long since erected,
To let go of my inhibitions and for a while, 
Just a little while, 
I'm going to let it be... 

xoxo
Chido Dziva Chikwari

This post was inspired by a mixed bag of feelings including the very eminent and apparent one FATIGUE! I like being in control, I like having a plan, I've often been described as up tight and believe things are meant to be a certain way. I struggle to have it any other way and most times I'll fight tooth and nail to get things in place BUT when I wrote this piece my body, mind and soul were just tired. Worn out, drained, complacent and lethargic. I was/still am tired and the plan is to go with the flow and see where it takes me.

Is it wrong to just let go sometimes? 

Keep Shining :) 


Thursday 1 May 2014

Imperfect Perfection


One plus one is equal to two
But for us it’s not quite true,
Imperfect perfection
That’s us.

I love you
You love me too,
But for us it doesn't end there
Life’s not that fair.
Imperfect perfection
That’s us.

Socks and Shoes
Cake and Icing
Boy and Girl
Two hearts intertwined
Beating as one
Imperfect perfection
That’s us.

"Two totally unrelated objects
Perfectly nestled inside each other
A certain kind of peace
In a chaotic world"
And yet for us, 
The story doesn't end there
Life’s not that fair.
Imperfect perfection
That’s us.

xoxo
Chido Dziva Chikwari

They say that nothing is perfect and that even the word imperfect spells out “I’m Perfect”. Today I was left wondering if there is such a thing as ‘just right’ or if we should seek to find the beauty in all the mess and hold onto that. If we should seek out the perfection midst all the imperfection and allow it like a light to shine bright in our hearts and minds because if it’s true nothing is actually perfect.  Maybe the whole truth is that it’s truly Perfect Imperfection rather than Imperfect Perfection.  I wonder….  


But yes this poem although written about the subject matter from its own angle is also imperfect perfection. It rhymes in some bits and doesn't in many. It has a story line that doesn't quite come together, with paragraphs of different lengths and repeats in all the wrong places it is the very substance of imperfection, an articulation in mangled words of my hearts impressions.