Do not be afraid to be you!
A very bold and strong fist statement I know,
But I am afraid this may be the only way to get through to you.
I see you hold your breath mid-sentence, mid-thought, mid-motion,
Just so you can pull yourself back,
Back into the confines of what seems normal and acceptable.
I see you alter your words, your wardrobe, your life choices,
Just so you can fit in,
Fit into the seemingly neat restrictions of the worlds ill placed expectations and presumptions.
Please stop?
Do not be afraid you be you!
Who am I, you ask?
You are whoever you want to be.
Your random thoughts, your crazy desires, your unexpected dreams,
Your ginormous hopes and your treacherous fears… You!
Own it.
Do not pull yourself back to fit into what they say.
Do not change yourself to suit what they want.
Be you.
Carry yourself boldly, fearlessly, unapologetically.
And remember always YOU ARE MAGIC.
It needs no explanation, it just is.
Love always,
Me.
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There is a famous quote by Marianne Williamson that goes, “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” It is taken from a piece that starts off with noting that “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” I think these powerful words ring true in so many ways and one of the things that have come to my mind repeatedly over the last month is how for so long I have been extremely apologetic about myself and my life choices. Some of them being things I have carefully thought through and decisions I have consciously made but would shy away from sharing because they do not fit into the confines of what society deems as acceptable. As a result, I have never publicly taken ownership of them.
I have also been thinking a lot lately about how there are things I really want to do but have never done because of what I think or believe other people with say about me. I am often conscious about the things I say in public, on this blog and on my social media because of how I think it will be perceived. I change the clothes what I wear sometimes, not because of how they make me feel but because of the impression they may have on the people around me. This is not me saying there is anything wrong with these thoughts and displaying the described attributes, in fact, I think it is all part of having a high emotional intelligence which for the most part is good HOWEVER… Despite having lost all my self confidence some years ago and slowly reclaiming it back I have always thought of myself as a fearless and unapologetic person. I realise now that I may not be because of constant conscious and subconscious moderation. Am I doing myself and everyone around me a favour by censoring my true self? Who wins when I decide not to do something I want to do because of an outside influence?
One of the first choices I decided to take ownership of when this dawned on me was the fact that it has been almost two years since I alone last went to church. I am unapologetic about that because it was a conscious decision I made over a year ago but because of society could never bring myself to SAY I don't go to church. Perhaps I will leave this for a blog post on another day.
I ramble a lot and that is also one of the parts of me that I fight to supress daily, but in conclusion I hope I have shared something worth thinking about:
- * Wear that velvet top and those green shoes if you want to
- * Cut your hair short if you want to
- * Be picky about who you engage with OR engage with everyone if you want to
If you want to do something and decide not to do it at least be aware of the reasons why you have chosen to be other than yourself. Most importantly remember that you are magic, it needs no explanation, it just is!
Keep Shining
Chido Dziva Chikwari
In my adult and semi adult life I have met so many AMAZING women. These women are powerful and strong. They have inspired me in more ways than I could ever list on a blog post. They have defied odds in their lives and many of them are pushing bounds and have already scaled mountains. They are giants and within all of this most, if not all, of them are very delicate and fragile. It is not a bad thing but so many times in conversation with these phenomenal women the discussion has been about pulling each other up and reminding each other that we are enough, that we are worthy and that we are capable. For me, these reminders are important, and they have helped me walk through difficult days and seasons. 
