Sometimes something happens in your life that you never planned to happen. You never planned it to happen but you see it coming. Devastating but freeing. Vague, I know. But this something happened to me. I was stuck in a place I saw no future in but still held on and hoped for the best. Giving my best to something that deserves less than average. God has a way of knowing our deepest desires and He knew mine. When this something happened I was devastated. Words were to heavy to come out my mouth so I turned to paper. In my quest for healing a book evolved with excerpts from my life - what it was before the something, during the something and after the something. I am finally free.
ENTRY #0
I wish i didnt want to always write about you
But you broke me into a million pieces
But with each written piece
A piece of me is restored
So i must write a million times
Plus one
That one is for me
- aftermath of you
ENTRY #1
I dont want you to to think this book is about you.
It may come strange to you that something is not about you
It was always about you.
My saddness-you.
My happiness-you.
You took and took until there was nothing to take.
I was spent.
We were about you.
Your hope
Your dreams
Your future.
You took and took until there was nothing to take.
I was spent.
The little that was left I poured on paper.
To fuel.
I wrote and wrote and there is more to write.
This book is not about you.
It is for me.
Im reclaiming and reclaim until there is nothing to claim.
This book is for me.
ENTRY #1209
I eventually wish for you to mean nothing
Not lost dreams
Disappointment
Or pain
Just nothing
Absolutely nothing
Nothing
ENTRY #3
I forgive
Again
Again
And I gain
ENTRY #800900
Here is to love
Endless smiles
And booming laughter
Thank you for life
Thank you for everything
He is everything
- him
A . M
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