HE SAYS HE ‘LIKES’ ME

Why I get so upset when a guy tells me he likes me…or wants us to date!

The butterflies seize and as I gaze into his face I start to think,

I think,

Of that promise of tomorrow,

That old familiar feeling,

Yesterday’s story,

I don’t want to go back there,

As the butterflies seize and I gaze into his face I start to think,

I think,

Are you here to stay?

Can I trust you?

Do you mean what you say?

I don’t want to go back there,

And as the butterflies seize and I gaze into his face I start to think,

I think,

I think about love lost,

Love lost but not forgotten,

So many promises we shared, Together forever we said,

To an end marred with tears,

I don’t want to go back there,

That’s why,

Why I get so upset when a guy tells me he likes me...or wants us to date!

XOXO

Chido Dziva Chikwari

I’m not sure how best to put this but yes, those are my feelings aired. When I love I go all out…boy-girl relationships that is and past experiences have taught me a thing or two. I’m often told I hold onto things way too much but yes the bottom line is I’m sick and tired of dating for things to end. I’m sick and tired of ‘short term investments’….and I’ve learnt that people often say things they don’t mean or can’t deliver (whether it be intentionally or unintentionally) so when a guy tells me he likes me or wants us to date for me it goes much deeper than the butterflies….it goes much further to who is this, why are they saying this, do they mean this, can I trust them, where is this relationship headed, will it work? I THINK!!!

Most times just because we make good friends and get along it really doesn’t mean we should date and I believe thinking a lot more critically about these things and looking further than just the romance and butterflies will save you from all the treachery, darkness and fake lights of a broken relationship.

I'll take my time! 

The Job Hunt: 10 Pointers from My Experience

Here lies 10 pointers from MY job hunt experience! A list of things I kept telling myself and discovered while looking for formal employment. I was on the hunt for exactly three months and this month I finally got a job, Hurray!!! This is probably why I felt compelled to write this blog post and share what I learnt. Hope it helps someone... :) 

Lesson #1

Often you are selling yourself NOT your qualifications. Hoards of people with degrees are unemployed. 

• What sets you apart?
• Your character traits? 
• Your skill sets? 
• Your extracurricular activities?

Lesson #2

CV - Your CV often goes places before you do; work on it. 

This pointer is self-explanatory but basically it is essential consider your CV to be your face.

• What does it show? 
• What does it say?
• Be conscious of your audience and your competition. 
• Employers receive tonnes of CVs, how will yours get to the short list pile? 

Lesson #3

Networking - People Matter!

 It really is about WHO you know! 

Both your strong and weak ties can prove to be very essential on the job hunt. Here lies your support structure and your hope for that extra edge. This may be how you get your foot in the door to begin with. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labour Statistics, 70% of all jobs are found through networking. Your networks are a great information source SO: 

• Expose yourself- Network
• Send Emails, Ask Questions
• Do not be afraid to sell yourself. Be confident and STEP Out! 

Lesson #4

Morale is Key and Persistence Pays! 

It can get depressing and you can get demoralized. The statistics can get you down; many people won’t reply your emails and some will simply bounce back. Many individuals will ask for your CV and the story will end there. Rejection is real and “I’m sorry but we are not able to offer you the position” is likely to happen. DO NOT LOSE HOPE!!! 

• Keep Trying. 
• Send a second email, don’t be shy! People can get busy and forget to reply.
• Any news even bad news is better than no news. 

Lesson #5

Be Productive – Make sure you do something every day. It keeps you busy, engaged and active. 

Sitting is counterproductive. This will boost your CV while you hunt and keep you stimulated.

‘Something’ can be nurturing a hobby, sporting activities, writing, skills building, anything! 

Purpose to be productive! Have something to say when you meet with potential employers, “I've been sitting at home” does not look good! My pastor always says, ‘Involvement is the key to your call’. Soo..... 

• Keep busy - (this includes 'job hunt' activities)
• Get involved somewhere - clubs, societies
• Volunteer!!!!.

Lesson #6

Interviews are both formal and informal. 

Everyone you meet is a potential employer. Always be on your A GAME!!! 

Lesson #7

Carry a copy of your CV at all times. You never know!

 

Lesson #7 is a direct follow on from lesson #6. I took my grandmother to the dentist one day and during her consultation the dentist and I got to talking. He asked me what I was doing and asked me to leave a copy of my CV with the receptionist. I didn't have a copy on me and needless to say, Lesson Learnt!!! 

Lesson #8

Be ready to answer the tough questions. 

• What exactly do you want?
• Time-frames? 
• Availability?
• Salary?
• Your life plan? 
• Strategy? 
• And of course the annoying ones……. “How’s the Job Hunt?” …..ummmm I don’t know “Fun?”  

Lesson #9

Dressing is important (or so I've been told).

It contributes a great deal to how you are perceived. When you enter a room it’s not your eloquent use of the English language that interviewers are looking at! In the Zimbabwean context I have also been told that trousers can be offensive/ intimidating. I suppose this one lies mostly with your discretion. 

Lesson #10

Be Prepared to FIGHT! 

It’s a dog eat dog world out there. Your mental state is important. You will often be forced to prove yourself, be ready! HOLD ONTO HOPE. and whatever you do Do not give up!!! 

XOXO 

Chido Dziva Chikwari

Sooo for three months I volunteered with an amazing charity, I joined a book club, I joined toastmasters, I wrote, I did errands at home, I upped my church attendance, I kept myself busy!! I met a lot of people who offered to help. I sent a lot of emails (my CV mostly) and I applied for quite a number of vacancies. I didn’t get responses from many of them. I did have many moments of despair (3 months isn’t too long but as the days pile up inclination to worry increases) and what kept me going was my faith; knowing that God had a plan and that things were going to work out eventually. If I didn’t get a specific job then it wasn’t for me anyway.

I really hope this helps somebody and hopefully I will be writing about my first ever work experience after graduation soon! 

Many thanks to all my friends and family for all the pressure and “How’s the Job hunt going?” questions. LOL 

Your support and encouragement kept me going. To those of you that connected me with potential employers, asked around for me, sent me links, and took me out….Thank YOU! May God bless you all…. 

LET’S SEE WHATS NEXT!!!

Biblical Reference 

 

Philippians 1:6 

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 40.31

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Remember the People

This is a piece based on one of my most impressionable moments upon returning to Zimbabwe.

I’m sure a great number of people in the world are aware of the economic crisis in Zimbabwe, the deep rooted corruption, the vast inflation, the loss of our currency, the cholera outbreak, the HIV/AIDS pandemic and all of the statistics (although not so accurate) that surround these. However, what I really want to highlight today is The People. The statistics and economic happenings are taking part in and shaping the lives of the people…

I want to direct this blog post mainly to our current leaders, our future leaders, legislators, policy makers, business people and anybody with the capacity understand: Remember the People!

One of my character traits is that I like to talk to people a lot so each time I stop at a traffic light I’m talking to the guys that are selling airtime, every time I’m sitting somewhere or standing in line I’m constantly finding myself engaging in conversation with different people from all walks of life.

If you live in Harare or frequent the CBD I am sure you are aware of the groups of people that harass motorists, for example; when you are trying to park your car they run towards you and vigorously direct you  to get into a particular parking space, they sometimes offer to wash your car and they are always there by your window when you are trying to get out of the parking space with their arms stretched out ready to receive saying, “Ko Sister hamuna kana 5Rand?” – My sister so you have at least 50cents. On top of this being a real nuisance, I often look at them and think why can’t you just leave me alone, I don’t have money just to give away and I can very well park my car on my own. One of the things that has sort of struck my heart is that these are people like myself who are actually trying to make a living and this is their means. This light bulb moment was brought about by  a young man who goes by the name of George.

I met George four years ago and an interesting relationship ensued mainly because I am a creature of habit and got used to parking my car in the same spot each time I went into the city centre. This spot happened to be in his area and George was one of those guys dressed in rags and constantly looking like he is high on some cheap drug or alcohol pleading, “Ko Sister hamuna kana 5Rand?” As is my custom George and I got to talking and every time I went into town George would sort of take care of me by making sure my car is looked after (I doubt if there was a need for that) and in exchange I would give him any spare change I had. Over the years he also began to open up to me and told me how he had a wife and a new-born son in the rural areas. He told me he is here in Harare trying to make something out of his life so he washes people’s cars and he does the whole parking thing. In essence at the time to me he was just a guy on the street with a story to tell. No big deal.

I went away for a year and when I came back in August I went back to my usual parking spot and routinely asked the guys there where George was. Unfortunately no one there knew of him and technically speaking he was just a guy out there living on the streets, sleeping wherever he could and there was no way that I could ever track him down. This really saddened me and for some time I really wondered what became of him. In my mind it was mostly horror stories of him getting sick and having died with no medical treatment or overdosing on Zed (cheap alcohol).

Three months into my return I went to a different area in town and after parking my car a young man dressed in his Yellow Easipark uniform (Easipark is a company working in conjunction with the municipality of Harare making people pay for parking in town it functions in a very similar way to the nuisances I described earlier but with much less on offer) runs towards me smiling from ear to ear and he says, “Makadii henyu Sisi Chido?” – How are you sister Chido. It took me a moment to realise that it was George because dressed all smart in his black pants, yellow shirt, yellow cap and electronic receipt machine he was a different man. I was in awe. We started talking and he told me how he finally got a job, how he is renting one room in Mbare, how his kid is now four years old and how now he has a steady income guaranteed at the end of each month so he can plan ahead. He spoke of how he is happy that he no longer has to literally beg strangers for coins every day and doesn’t have to worry about being harassed by city council workers in a bid to clean up the city centre.

I cried tears of joy after meeting George. I was happy to see an actual change in his life, not just in the way he looked physically but also the boost in his confidence. When I was now alone later on this encounter led me to think about all those guys on the streets selling airtime. When you call them from wherever you are they get up and sprint towards you just to give you $1 airtime and that is how they are making a living. Out there in the scorching sun or in the beating rain the guy is there at 6am and he will still be there at 8pm selling airtime. With my discussions with one of them I found that he sells airtime during the day and doubles up as a security guard at night. The truth of the matter though is that these people are really really hard working individuals, people that want to make something out of their lives, people that don’t necessarily want to be out on the streets harassing you for 5Rands on a daily basis, trying to sell you masau or chicken flings and Jupiter’s, trying to sell you car chargers, fridge magnets, ironing boards, shoe racks, you name it. They are trying to build up their sustenance and the reality is that the occurrences in Zimbabwe over the past 10 years have affected people who want to do something and our leaders, us as individuals in the corporate world, us as individuals who are aspiring to build a better Zimbabwe, aspiring to break the cycle of poverty must remember the people.

image source: www.telegraph..co.uk

We must remember George, we must remember ana Tashinga (10) and Simba (17)  who are two street kids that I met during a lunchtime prayer meeting. They have found themselves on the streets after their grandmother who used to take care of them in Chipinge passed away a year ago. Their mother and father are diseased, they both were HIV positive and now these two orphans are living on the street trying to get by. I speak to Simba and he is not used to being on the streets, he doesn’t want to be there, he is ashamed of his current circumstances and he wants to make something of his life. He wants to work. In fact whenever he comes across somebody who needs some piece work done he celebrates, he sweeps the backyards of shop owners complexes for $1 and if somebody wants to have their gardening done he is there and he is looking for opportunities like this. I know and understand that we are all stretched and hard pressed but I also believe that If we keep them in mind and if we make it a point to creatively think of ways to support and assist them I know that not only will Zimbabwe be a better place but most importantly the lives of people will be made better.

Please be reminded that begging is not Simbas life plan, it is not his vision and he doesn’t want to sleep outside in the cold. Please be reminded that because of a window of opportunity George is now a working man, cleaned up, dressed nice and financially supporting his wife and son. Two extremes with the same beginning. There is hope.

Remember the People

image source: www.bulawayo24..com

XOXO

Chido Dziva Chikwari

P.S. With operation Murambatsvina (the demolition of illegal structures) now making a comeback I understand we all, the people and our policy makers desire to have the city restored to its sunshine status, however, as we do so please may we remember the people. Who is living in these structures? Why are they living there? And what can we do for them?

P.S. 2 So George finally got a job, I knew him for 4 years beforehand while he was on the streets and coincidentally I’m kind of relating to him more now because I am currently looking for a job. I’ve been on this hunt since August and so far it has been nothing short of a character building exercise. My story will be very different from Georges but I am glad to be going through this because although I am privileged in so many ways it’s an insider experience that I have heard many others before me speak of and I’m looking forward to sharing it on this blog soon! Keep an eye out!  

How it Really Is….Not how it is For You!

This piece was inspired by a rather unfortunate encounter that highlighted how sheltered my life has been and the influence my upbringing has had on how I view the world as well as how little I know about what is really going on in my country, Zimbabwe.

A few weeks ago my mother and I went to visit a homestead and as we were having conversation with the young couple that stayed there they mentioned how they had just returned from fetching water from a bottle store that was about 3kms away. As this conversation went on they continued to explain about how they have to get drinking water from that bottle store, how they also have to get bathing water from somewhere else as well as ordeals about rising from their slumber at 2am to fill the bath tub. The first thing I sort of asked mid conversation was, “Why?” and what was running through my mind was, “Is it really necessary for you to go to such extremes for drinking water on a daily basis?” and “Why wake up at 2am to fill the bath tub?”  It really didn’t make sense to me and the moment I asked that question my mom immediately gave me this sharp look telling me to SHUT UP!  I was baffled and kept quiet.

What I want to highlight right now is that I know and have always known that there has been a water situation in Zimbabwe. I know that water has been a problem for quite some time and this has been going on for as long as I can remember really so this exactly wasn't news to me BUT the extensity of the subject matter had never really been highlighted to me personally. This is mainly because from the time we moved into our current house 18 years ago a borehole was sunk and a few years later we installed a water tank for whenever the power went out (this often happens in Zimbabwe too). I went to a private boarding school for high school and this was the case for my primary education too. Whenever there was no water we either had back up tanks or huge buckets of water made available everywhere. Soon after that I left for university abroad so although I knew water was a problem I never really had days where I woke up and had to go and get water from the neighbors or at some minister’s house. If there was ever an issue with water at my house it was always a case where of somebody not switching on the borehole or ensuring the tank was filled the night before. Similarly everywhere I have always gone I haven’t stayed there for long periods of time where I’d have to go fetch water with the exception of visits to the rural areas where this is accepted as common practice (clearly it isn't the case for them alone anymore).

Essentially what hit me that day is that there are people who do not have wells or boreholes and there are many Zimbabweans who have had to travel/walk long distances to fetch water to drink, water to shower, water to wash their dished, water to flush their toilets, water to do their laundry DESPITE living in the City. Cases of this are on the rise too…things are not any better and it’s become a grave situation of which my mind had never been open to. I never really understood possibly because of my age at the time or simply because of the family that I had been brought up in as well as the places and people I interacted with. As a result I probably had/have a very limited understanding about what is really going on and although I might sympathize and cry foul about, “Oh we have these issues in Zimbabwe” there is a very significant aspect of them that I do not know and may never know unless I have become exposed to them.

This brings me to the main point of this blog post that’s highlighted in the topic: “How it really is, not how it is for you”. By virtue of your financial standing - your wealth or poverty you are going to live in very specific places and be surrounded by a certain caliber of people. The lifestyle that you lead (the schools you send your children to, the places that you shop) are going to create a bubble of persons around you and a community who essentially by default is not going to be very different from yourself. In effect your world view is governed by these not so invisible divides. How external matters affect you and how you see things is typically based on the level and extent of your exposure. I’m immediately reminded of my university peers who upon hearing I was Zimbabwean sympathized with my ‘suffering’ and hunger. They questioned why it was that I spoke such good English and were confused when I showed them pictures of tall buildings in Harare. With that said that is how it was FOR ME unlike the little boy in Chizumba whose English isn't so good, who has never seen tall buildings in Harare or a computer.

So Yes…this really constitutes a bit of my personal  very random rantings. I would like to encourage anybody reading this blog to make it a point to try to see further than your world, discover and appreciate “How it really is, Not how it is for You!”

XOXO

Chido Dziva Chikwari 

P.S Getting over the not so invisible divide is probably easier said than done. E.g. how my schoolmates viewed Zimbabwe was based heavily on what they saw portrayed in the media. I understand how they can see things like that, how else are they to get exposure to the truth or 'bigger picture'? I guess in this case it was up to me to TELL them, show them. 

GlobalGivingUK : Enhances' Testimony - Kidzcan

This is a part of Enhance Hungwes' Testimony. 

He is a survivor of childhood cancer and his story of triumph follwed by his journey of fighting to give back is one that truly embodies the vision of Kidzcan;

EVERY CHILD DESERVES THE RIGHT TO FIGHT!

Kidzcan operates from A4 Special ward at Parirenyatwa Hospital in Harare.

This is how they help : 

• They pay for all chemotherapy drugs required for treatment for children aged 0 - 18 years. 
• They pay for all testing required for diagnosis and maintenance- including Xrays, MRI, CT Scan, Bone Marrow aspirants, and blood tests for children aged 0-18 years
• They have a phycho-social support program, including a weekly parent support group. 
• Transport reimbursement for those in need of it. 
• A play program for children at Parirenyatwa where Kidzcan volunteers do art projects, play games and read to the children on the wards. 

Cancer doesn't always mean a death sentence and there are many more inspirational success stories like that of Enhance.

YOU can be a part of the amazing work that Kidzcan is doing by donating to them on Global Giving UK. Follow this link for some quick and easy steps :

http://www.globalgiving.co.uk/donate/11900/kidzcan-childrens-cancer-relief/

xoxo

Chido Dziva Chikwari 

P.S This video was made possible through the Global Giving UK Impact Assessment Program. To find out more about Global Giving visit www.globalgiving.co.uk 

Global Giving UK : Chipinge and The Tekeshe Foundation

I have never been to Chipinge before and I must confess that a week before we travelled I had to make use of Google Maps to find out where exactly I was going – Rimbi. This is kind of embarrassing for someone who boldly proclaims to be ‘born and bred Zimbabwean’ but Oh Well, these are the perks of the job and Global Giving UK had awarded me a free tourist experience!

Located in the Eastern Highlands of Zimbabwe Rimbi is a truly scenic destination and I had to consciously stop myself from taking pictures of the majestic baobab trees towering over thatched huts  with a backdrop of mountain over mountain. Zimbabwe really is a beautiful country and Rimbi is one of it’s jewels neatly tucked away in the Manicaland Province.

Sunset at Rimbi Clinic. The delapitaded building is an old nurses quarters that was destroyed by a cyclone. 

I felt soo at home the moment we arrived and before I go any further I would like to start off by saying THANK YOU to a family that took me in and made me one of their own right from the beginning:

• Gogo Spiwe Musungungure – I have one more grandmother now.
• Mai Masikati – Thank you for all the meals I think I gained some kilos.
• Sekuru Adonis Mutseyami – You checked up on me literally every 30 minutes and made sure the heat didn’t melt me away.
• Xithani and Jose – my young brothers.
• The Caregivers – Mai Ali, Mai Freeman and Co; we laughed so much.
• Mrs Musutane/Sithole and
• Mr Chitombo

Thank you!

The Tekeshe Foundation is one of Global Giving UK's overseas partners and is the brain child of US based Themla Sithole. I spent a weekennd with them as part of Global Giving UK's overseas evaluation programme. The Tekeshe foundation focuses on empowering and restoring dignity and hope by providing and promoting economic empowerment, advocating literacy and higher education for both boys and girls, while assisting AIDS/HIV patients and their families with social-economic help.  For background information and an introduction on how the Tekeshe foundation is supporting and shaping the future of the Rimbi community for the better please follow this link to my introductory blog post: http://myheartsimpressions.blogspot.com/2013/07/globalgivinguk-introducing-tekeshe.html

My weekend was so full of activity and I’ll be using the pictures below to narrate all the elements of the Tekeshe Foundation projects I saw in action. Enjoy!!! J

The Playtime Program

Our childhood years are critical in shaping our lives. In the rural areas Early Childhood Development is one element that is often overlooked, however, the Tekeshe foundation has stepped in to offer this free service to children aged between 3 - 5 years before they start Primary School. The Nursery is housed in one room and they are currently catering for 30 children. These kids are so full of energy and with the right start their future can only be brighter!! 

 ICT Project

I have always known there is a gap between rural areas and urban areas in regards to use of technology, however, this vague awareness was nothing compared to the startling size of this 'digital divide'. An example of this is Rimbi Primary School that has just over 1500 students from Grade 1 to Grade 7, however, has only 1 computer. This computer was donated by the Tekeshe Foundation in an effort to bridge this digital divide and they have done the same with Mbeure Primary school, that has two computers, and Rimbi Secondary school. They have also helped facilitate ICT training for teachers at all three of these schools and pictured below is one of the training sessions that ran throughout the weekend for three days. These teacher where given a run through of basic computer elements such as Microsoft Word and Microsoft Excel. I was pleasantly surprised by how eager to learn the teachers were and if this is a reflection of the hearts of all the students in rural Rimbi initiatives such as these must be supported and taken seriously. 

Teacher Training in Progress 

Mr Mupinda emphasizes a point during training . 

Two Primary School Teachers listen intently. 

A staff member works through the workshop questions. 

Two powecuts during the training weekend  meant we had to resort to the use of one laptop. As a result there was less hands on learning which is what most of the teachers where really keen on getting. 

The computer donated to Rimbi Primary School by the Tekeshe Foundation

Economic Empowerment: Sewing Project 

The primary focus of this program is to develop the entrepreneurship and employability skills for women and rural youth who are not enrolled in school. Pictured below are some of the young women that have been trained in dress making and are now making money sewing school uniforms that are then sold to the local school children. With more machines the Tekeshe foundation will be able to train more women in this trade an help them achieve self sustainability. 

 Community Support Projects

Through a model of volunteer caregivers The Tekeshe foundation has been able to reach out to those that are most needy in their community. These are often families that have been affected by the HIV/AIDS pandemic, the elderly and the orphaned. Community caregivers where trained by the Tekeshe Foundation in 2006 and have since been vocal in advocacy support.  

The family pictured here is headed by a single mother of 5 and her house was destroyed by a fire 6 years ago. The Tekeshe Foundation came in to assist and built the hut you can see here. 

Two community caregivers having a laugh

Mbuya Chingoda, one of the elderly supported by this programme, benefits from food and clothing. 

Mai Kevi/Esther is open about her HIV status and has been a pillar in the Rimbi Community helping people overcome the stigma associated with HIV/AIDS. 

Rimbi Clinic 

 Government run clinics in Zimbabwe often leave a lot to be desired, however, Rimbi Clinic is definitely an exception to the rule. You can see it painted bright blue from anywhere in the township and when you are there it's easy to see that the place is well kept. The Tekeshe Foundation has supported the clinic over the years by donating a number of items including an ambulance, medicines in short supply, bp machines, bedding and arranging for a doctor to visit monthly.

Mr Chitobo (Tekeshe Co-ordinator) and
Mr Mutseyami (Chairman of Rimbi Clinic board) pose for a picture. 

Mothering ward at Rimbi Clinic

An Ambulance donated to the Riimbi Clinic by the Donation. This was the only ambulance in a service area of approximately 10 000 people. Unfortunately the ambulance was involved in an accident and is no longer running. The Tekeshe foundation is currently seeking funds to buy a new ambulance.

The above is just a small glimpse of the work the Tekeshe Foundation has been doing in Rimbi and I encourage everyone reading this blog to also take a look at their website,  www.tekeshe.org . As I mentioned erlier the Tekeshe Foundation is also a Global Giving UK partner so anyone who wants to get involved can DONATE to them via Global Giving in a few quick and easy steps. Here is the link : http://www.globalgiving.org/donate/2975/tekeshe-foundation/ 

XOXO

Chido Dziva Chikwari