At 16 she had made some foolish mistakes. Fun and games with
the wrong high school friends and a boy that had professed his undying love for
her had cumulated in an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy. Ngoni, now 2 years
old clung to her and looked up, “Mama?”
With tears streaming down her cheeks and bloodstains beginning
to dry on her dress, Roselac pondered. He had beat her again and she had nowhere
to go. She couldn’t return to Baba and Mainini. She had run off without saying
goodbye 9 months ago. She had refused their offers to go back to school and
finish her O’levels. She had hitched up with Tinashe, who everyone had told her
was a bad idea. He was a lot older than her and a drunk but it felt right…at
the time! At the time he had made her feel special. At the time he made her
feel like nothing else mattered aside from the burning flames of a passionate
love affair. He had said she was beautiful, that she was the only one. He had
said he would take care of her and her son so she had left. Riding high on the
wings of “Love”. Or was it?...Love??
She wasn’t quite sure how it had happened. Or rather she couldn’t
quite explain it. Either way it was already too late now. She was already 6
months pregnant and HIV Positive. When she told him her result he had beat
her.
“Mama, mama!” cried Ngoni.
She wiped her tears then picked up her son and the basket
full of tomatoes. She had to go *kumusika.
She was a girl aged 19.
*Kumusika is Shona for “to the market”.
I work at Primary Health Care Clinics in the high density
suburbs of Harare and over the past few years I have seen and heard a lot of heart-breaking
stories. I’ve never been certain about what I can and cannot write or publish
because of confidentiality confinements when we do HIV testing and Counselling
so I never wrote but yes this piece was inspired by a girl I met a few weeks
ago. She shared with me a bit about her story and that birthed this short article. It is also in line of some of the things that have been happening in Zimbabwe lately :
- The issue of child marriages, the age of consent and how this affects the girl child.
- The plight of all the vendors that have flooded the streets of Harare.
Roselac was a bit older but the above is very relevant to her and lot of other young girls. She dropped out of school pregnant at a very young age and is now trying to make a living for herself and her son by selling her wares.
I have also met many women who feel stuck in abusive relationships because they feel they have no where to go or they have to stay for the sake of their children and are also struggling to make ends meet alone despite having 'a man' in the home. HIV status and the complications it brings into the home when one partner has been tested and the other refuses testing, blames the other partner or a couple has discordant results is another true and real debacle. All of the above are issues for another day, I could go on and on and on however.....
I feel that in life we often make very obvious mistakes that
we cannot explain or excuse. Mainly because we know we made bad move A and bad
move B. And because life is the way it is there are often if not always consequences
for our actions. Personally post the event I feel the above doesn’t really
matter, it’s the decisions we make thereon and how we decide to continue that
do. What matters is that we realize that our mistakes don’t define us, that as
long as we are still alive there is hope and that we have to have the courage
to do and be better for the sake of tomorrow. So in the case of Roselac what
matters is that she learns from yesterday’s mistakes and works hard to build a
better tomorrow for her son and baby number 2 on the way. What matters is that
she take care of herself and come to the realization that she still has
options. It’s never the end of the world.
I believe this also applies to just about every ‘bad hand’
that life deals us. Whether it be your fault (a mistake you made) or just being
unfortunate enough to be caught up in a bad situation. Never take up a victim
mentality. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue! Change the
outcome.
I’d like to dedicate this post to a very special friend of
mine, Farai Savanhu, who for the past few months has been pushing me to write.
Thank you Fari. I pray this piece is helpful to somebody.
Keep shining!!
XOXO
Chido Dziva Chikwari
*NOTE: None of the names in this story were the characters actual
names.
