Too difficult to Love

This isn’t the sort of heart that you walk right into, 

Finding fresh warm linen ready and waiting for you. 

No. 

This heart is a battlefield. 

Filled with landmines that lay hidden and forgotten, 

Waiting to explode at the slightest movement. 

In the words of those who have gone before you... 

I’m too difficult to love. 

xoxo 

Chido Dziva Chikwari 

I have been told repeatedly the reasons why I am either not desirable or unlikely to ever find someone. I have been told things like you are too independent, too strong, too intimidating, too up tight etc etc. All by potential suitors who eventually give up on their pursuit and move on. Maybe I have just been scarred too many times and my walls are indeed too high. However, I’m often left wondering if it is supposed to be easy for a man to walk into my life and take claim on my heart. 

Is it supposed to be easy? 

Or are you supposed to prove yourself worthy?

In the same spirit I am also aware that I am not a bed of roses or a walk in a park. I have high expectations for him AND for myself. I have issues and emotional baggage; I’m working on both but for now it’s still there. So, for these and other reasons I concede that I am “too difficult to love” and perhaps this is a pursuit to be won only by the brave and strong!

Keep Shining.