Single: My 14 Feb Impressions

The 14 February movement/craze a.k.a VALENTINES DAY is upon us! It seems there is no way to escape it (red all over) and as a member of the #TeamSingle society I thought I should share something on this auspicious occasion...

Hanzi everyday must be like valentines day but let's be honest and face it....when 14 February starts creeping up on us expectations start to rise, we look forward to the day and anxiously await it's arrival. Single or not 14 Feb affects us all. I've had the pleasure of being both single and in full swing romance on this notorious day so I feel I may be justified in the comments to come..lol. These are all based on my personal experiences with heavy accents on where I'm at right now (single) :)

I remember my very first boyfriend going all out on Valentines day when I was in high school. He lived in a different city and on this day we speak of sent me a huge card (it may have been musical too), a bouquet of red roses and chocolate via courier. At my school gifts where distributed publicly after supper for boarders and I remember the entire dining hall going crazy over the sweet things he had to say and the lavish gift he had obviously put so much effort into. He really went all out for high school standards and I must say he set the bar pretty high. The years to follow were filled with similar highs and a few lows...love, romance, heartbreak and tears and well in my reflections this year I can boldly say I've learnt a few things... Like I said before all these have a significant bearing on the fact that I'm single so my opinions may be slightly biased.

My single years I value the most...Why? Because of "Expectations" and the room they have given me for Self Appreciation and Personal Growth....at some point in my single years I decided to jump onto the Miss Independent, I can make myself happy bandwagon and ensured that I kept myself busy and spoilt myself rotten on Valentines day. I'd take myself out and buy myself gifts, things I've always wanted and knew I would treasure for life- No one knows you better than yourself. A few days ago I was looking through my possessions and saw one of my gifts dated 14/2/2012 "To Chido from Chido" It made me smile and got me thinking about what happened to all the years where I wasn't single and it occurred to me that for some of them I actually didn't get gifts (LOL) and did nothing special either. This really wasn't an infringement on whoever I was dating at the time (believe me he was probably a great guy) but it's a reflection on the importance of making yourself happy and not being dependent on somebody else who may or may not disappoint you. I can remember moments of deeply felt disappointment when I expected at least something from my current 'male friend' and got nothing, or moments where I thought I made it clear I loved roses and got a card instead. This may be the team single voice in me speaking but in the years that I have been flying solo I've learnt a lot  about personal responsibility, being sure of yourself, being certain of your individuality -where your self worth is not defined by how somebody else treats you, standing as one and being 'free' in a way! Some of these things I personally lacked previously and believe being a relationship can negatively impact. I've learnt that while being with a guy can be awesome, being alone can be just as awesome too!

A friend of mine actually said something very profound the other day, she said, "When you are single you know it and you can own it!". I feel like she summarized where I'm at and how this year 14 Feb is going to be viewed by me. This year I am going to own it, I may be single right now but I know my Mr Man is coming. Next year this may not be my story. I cannot wait to meet this guy OR for our relationship to become official however right now it's all about The Value of ME outside of anyone else...I'm now crazy enough to buy myself roses, to take myself out or even my dad :)  Sooo If you are single, like myself, this is your day too! Love on YOU. Valentines day is just as important a day while alone as it would be with someone else. Get yourself something special :) Tis the Season!


Happy Valentines day to you reader!!!

XOXO

Chido Dziva Chikwari




P.S 1 I'm thinking the undertones of this day are very much materialistic and some people could have issues with that but I just wanted to zone in on the fact that although Valentines day may force you to be materialistic (buy gifts, spend money)  it's important to note that "Receiving Gifts" is one of the 5 love languages. That makes it just as important as spending Quality Time with your partner, sharing Words of Affirmation or Physical Touch! It's important! Oh and this is not exclusive to valentines day only! But I'm sure you know that...

P.S 2 This is where I'm at right now. Some of my readers may actually be in relationships and expecting stuff from their loved ones or planning on getting them something and well the advice I have for you is GO ALL OUT!!! Show him/her how much they mean to you...savor the time you have together because tomorrow is not guaranteed. There is no time like the present. For me it's going all out in my oneness and for you it's going all out in your oneness together too :) Whatever your circumstances take charge and own it :) Spread the LOVE!