As with everything else on my blog I do not claim to be an expert who has mastered it. I am literally going through life trying to figure things out and unfortunately making the mistake of documenting some of it. Sometimes I look back at the things I write and think, ‘Wow, this is golden!” or “Oh my word what were you thinking?”
Anyway, one of the things I wanted to write about was how to create a balance between work and life. I work full time, but I am also halfway through my PhD and have a 3-year-old son. It really is a lot and on most days I am completely exhausted. Sometimes it is just mental fatigue where I literally can’t think anymore and sometimes it’s physical fatigue where my body is completely shattered. I have in no way mastered this balance thing but there are a few things that I have found to help along the way and I wanted to share a few of them below.
1) Plan
"Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now."
Allan Lakem
I am a woman of to-do lists. I struggle to function without them and on the day that I make the mistake of starting off without a clearly defined agenda I find myself running around from item to item like a headless chicken and not actually getting anything done. So I plan. I like to plan my day and sometimes it goes all the way down from the actual activity to be done to the hour it should be done. It helps me be objective about what I can or cannot do each day/week/month and it also helps me be strategic about what needs to be done. My to-do lists push me to do more when I start to feel complacent because they stare back at me from my desktop and notebooks reminding me of the multiple tasks at hand. They push me forward to get things done because of the satisfaction that comes with having something ticked off my list. They practically keep me sane but in the broader scope of things I am a planner. I like to have plans in place for everything that I can plan. It allows me to make projections about the short and long-term future so that I can be better prepared for anything that comes my way. I think it makes me more efficient. I’d also like to note here that I plan everything, it’s not just work but also the leisurely things too. They also need to go on the agenda. They are just as important so on my to do list you will find random things like plan lunch with friend x for the week of June 14. My friendships are important to me so I am intentional about carving out time for and planning for them otherwise it wont happen. You will see what I mean in the next items below.
I am a woman of to-do lists. I struggle to function without them and on the day that I make the mistake of starting off without a clearly defined agenda I find myself running around from item to item like a headless chicken and not actually getting anything done. So I plan. I like to plan my day and sometimes it goes all the way down from the actual activity to be done to the hour it should be done. It helps me be objective about what I can or cannot do each day/week/month and it also helps me be strategic about what needs to be done. My to-do lists push me to do more when I start to feel complacent because they stare back at me from my desktop and notebooks reminding me of the multiple tasks at hand. They push me forward to get things done because of the satisfaction that comes with having something ticked off my list. They practically keep me sane but in the broader scope of things I am a planner. I like to have plans in place for everything that I can plan. It allows me to make projections about the short and long-term future so that I can be better prepared for anything that comes my way. I think it makes me more efficient. I’d also like to note here that I plan everything, it’s not just work but also the leisurely things too. They also need to go on the agenda. They are just as important so on my to do list you will find random things like plan lunch with friend x for the week of June 14. My friendships are important to me so I am intentional about carving out time for and planning for them otherwise it wont happen. You will see what I mean in the next items below.
2) Be intentional about rest
"Life is all about balance. You don't always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it's perfectly Okay , and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back and do nothing."
Lori Deschene
When you feel you need to have a break, take it! I am sure there is a smart psychological theory about this in some text book but what I have found is that taking time out does wonders for my work output. One day or an afternoon off can increase my efficiency when I get back to work so I do take time off. I plan it in advance when I know I will have long stretches of intense work and when the time comes I shut off and rest. This works hand in hand with the planning strategy in item number 1, when I am intentional about my rest days and they are planned ahead of time my work should not suffer because I have taken a day or 1 week away from it.
When you feel you need to have a break, take it! I am sure there is a smart psychological theory about this in some text book but what I have found is that taking time out does wonders for my work output. One day or an afternoon off can increase my efficiency when I get back to work so I do take time off. I plan it in advance when I know I will have long stretches of intense work and when the time comes I shut off and rest. This works hand in hand with the planning strategy in item number 1, when I am intentional about my rest days and they are planned ahead of time my work should not suffer because I have taken a day or 1 week away from it.
3) Be intentional about the ‘other’ things you want to do
"Time is a created thing. To say "I don't have time," is like saying, "I don't want to."
Lao Tzu
Time to do things will never create itself. In our busy schedules we often find ourselves saying things like, “I don’t have time to go to the gym” and “I don’t have time to do this and that.” With that mentality it is highly likely that you really won’t have the time to do those things, however, one of the things that I have found is that if you intentionally carve out time for the things that matter to you and the things that you want to do everything else that “keeps you busy” simply has to fall in line. So for example one of the things I am extremely intentional about is time with my son. While I work from 7am-5pm on Monday to Friday every day after work I make sure I have at least 2 hours with my son before he goes to bed and also every weekend is dedicated Malachi time. This means that weather I am done with work or not I leave by 6pm (on most days) so that I can spend time with my son. It means that on weekend I can’t be at the office and whatever I do do has to be Malachi friendly. Things don’t always go as planned (life is like that) BUT what I have found is that when I have set a time to be elsewhere (at home with Malachi) I made sure that while I am at work I am as productive as possible so that I leave the office by 6pm. I spend less time talking in the kitchen because I know I need to get stuff done and be gone by 6.
Time to do things will never create itself. In our busy schedules we often find ourselves saying things like, “I don’t have time to go to the gym” and “I don’t have time to do this and that.” With that mentality it is highly likely that you really won’t have the time to do those things, however, one of the things that I have found is that if you intentionally carve out time for the things that matter to you and the things that you want to do everything else that “keeps you busy” simply has to fall in line. So for example one of the things I am extremely intentional about is time with my son. While I work from 7am-5pm on Monday to Friday every day after work I make sure I have at least 2 hours with my son before he goes to bed and also every weekend is dedicated Malachi time. This means that weather I am done with work or not I leave by 6pm (on most days) so that I can spend time with my son. It means that on weekend I can’t be at the office and whatever I do do has to be Malachi friendly. Things don’t always go as planned (life is like that) BUT what I have found is that when I have set a time to be elsewhere (at home with Malachi) I made sure that while I am at work I am as productive as possible so that I leave the office by 6pm. I spend less time talking in the kitchen because I know I need to get stuff done and be gone by 6.
4) Work smart
"If I had six hours to cut down a tree, I'd spend the first four sharpening the saw."
Abraham Lincoln
Those that know me well enough know that I am actually quite lazy. I prefer working smart to working hard. I think there is a book out there about this somewhere and both can sometimes be synonymous but basically when working I try to be as efficient and strategic as possible. Where things can be simplified and made easier they should be. Being at your desk from 7-5pm without getting much done isn’t working hard or smart. Time is precious, and we must treat it as such. You must be actively thinking of ways to make your life easier. In terms of work this may not be easy or applicable to everyone because a lot of people don’t have flexibility about what they do at work but where things can be made easier they must be. I am not sure if this point makes any sense but I’ll leave it here for future reference.
Those that know me well enough know that I am actually quite lazy. I prefer working smart to working hard. I think there is a book out there about this somewhere and both can sometimes be synonymous but basically when working I try to be as efficient and strategic as possible. Where things can be simplified and made easier they should be. Being at your desk from 7-5pm without getting much done isn’t working hard or smart. Time is precious, and we must treat it as such. You must be actively thinking of ways to make your life easier. In terms of work this may not be easy or applicable to everyone because a lot of people don’t have flexibility about what they do at work but where things can be made easier they must be. I am not sure if this point makes any sense but I’ll leave it here for future reference.
5) Focus on one thing and do it as best as you can in the time you have allocated to it
"To do two things at once is to do neither."
Publilius Syrus
Having your mind in one place is so so powerful. This is a lesson I learnt years and years ago and it has stuck with me since. Sometimes we are busy trying to get several things done at once and a lot of the time is messes up our output for everything. So what I tend to do is focus on pieces of work and get them done then move on to the next thing. This might be unique to me only because I have clearly segmented pieces of work, so I could on one day be focusing on a paper I am writing and work to get that done and then on the next day move on to something PhD related and get that done in the morning before moving on to analysing some data in the afternoon. It doesn’t help you to have your mind in 50 different places. I have noticed sometimes when I carry my work stress home Malachi asks me, “Mhamha why are you mad?” My time with Malachi would automatically be ruined because my mind is still at work. I know this is easier said than done a lot of the time but if you do train your mind to compartmentalize I have found this to be very helpful. It protects my rest/ ”other” time form distractions and it also increases my efficiency with work.
Having your mind in one place is so so powerful. This is a lesson I learnt years and years ago and it has stuck with me since. Sometimes we are busy trying to get several things done at once and a lot of the time is messes up our output for everything. So what I tend to do is focus on pieces of work and get them done then move on to the next thing. This might be unique to me only because I have clearly segmented pieces of work, so I could on one day be focusing on a paper I am writing and work to get that done and then on the next day move on to something PhD related and get that done in the morning before moving on to analysing some data in the afternoon. It doesn’t help you to have your mind in 50 different places. I have noticed sometimes when I carry my work stress home Malachi asks me, “Mhamha why are you mad?” My time with Malachi would automatically be ruined because my mind is still at work. I know this is easier said than done a lot of the time but if you do train your mind to compartmentalize I have found this to be very helpful. It protects my rest/ ”other” time form distractions and it also increases my efficiency with work.
So anyway, the inspiration behind this post was a conversation I have been having a lot with one of my friends lately and that is basically centred around the fact that I want to do more. I know I am doing a lot but I also feel like there is more I can and should be doing. I am also surrounded by some extremely phenomenal people who are doing some really amazing work and what sets these people apart from everyone else is that they push themselves to go the extra mile. They are trailblazers on so many fronts, they start things. I want to do more because I feel like I can. This may not be the case for everyone out there, however, it’s good to check yourself regularly and see where you can fit in any additional things you feel would be beneficial for yourself and your community both now or in the future. This might seem like a slight tangent, but I really don’t want my life to be one sided. I don’t want paediatric and adolescent HIV to be the only thing I know 10 years from now. I have other interests and so I need to identify them and be intentional about creating space for them in my life now. I want to read, I want to write, I want to travel, I want to volunteer, I want to grow. A very powerful woman I connected with recently and now look up to says repeatedly, "You become very boring very quickly, if all you ever talk about is your work." She is right, we are not created to be one dimensional beings. While there is an epidemiologist in me I know there is also a creator, a writer, an orator, a philanthropist, a mother, a lover...
To summarise I will share a quote by Breena Clarke that I have been repeating to my friend since January, “Try more things. Learning to swim won’t stop you from reading Shakespeare. Finding your voice won’t stop you from writing novels. You should be cooking on all four burners.”
xoxo
Chido Dziva Chikwari
Keep shining!
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