Just because I have forgiven you it doesn't mean that you didn't do anything wrong to me..it doesn't mean that I have to like you but that I no longer hold you accountable for the dead. It means I've stopped being angry at you, i'm no longer the victim and I can trust people again.
Forgive and Forget is a christian cliche and it's absolute rubbish...we choose not to linger on the thoughts, we choose not to live in the past, we choose not to dwell on the negatives of our past.
-Tom Rawls on Anger & Forgiveness
I really identified with this sermon mainly because I have been hurt and wronged by someone I trusted and loved deeply. And for a long period afterwards I was angry and resentful... I asked myself repeatedly where I went wrong and had countless interventions with God asking him WHY. I spent time thinking of
ways to get back at that person and envisioned the day they would come back to me to apologize and tell me how much they messed up but the truth of the matter is I held onto all that bitterness right up until the point I finally decided to forgive and release that person.
The point where I let it all go and stopped expecting anything from them is the point where everything changed. It obviously took a really long time and the process wasn't a smooth one but the truth is I will never forget what did happen and I can never be chitty chatty, happy buddy with them BUT now I have peace in my heart. There came a time where I actually found myself being happy for that person and actually being able to move on my life. I
realize that he (yes its a he) wasn't part of Gods plan for my life and although it took ages for me to see it (and maybe this is me trying to console myself) he wasn't that great a guy anyway. Some would say there are bigger fish in the sea...its true ;)
I cant say i'm completely healed from that ordeal but I believe i'm going strong in the process...I wont cry myself to sleep anymore and I don't exactly trust everyone that comes my way but i'm opening myself up to stuff more and more each day. That was a learning experience and I learn more and more from it each day. I know I didn't go through all that for nothing and strongly believe that there is a greater glory!
More to come!!
XOXO
Chido Dziva Chikwari
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