How Did We Get Back Here?

"We must not be anything other than what we are, he reminded himself. We are and so we will be. We are here, in these days of locusts and noise, but it has been written that this shall pass, and so it will." -Beneath the Lion's Gaze

How did we get back here?

We ducked and we dived,

We ran and we hid,

We'd escaped at the very least,

But like our shadows reappearing at dawn,

Our demons caught up with us.

We thought we had conquered,

We'd moved above and beyond,

Far from it all.

We bid that bitter past goodbye.

We were free,

But like this was their home,

Our demons caught up with us.

Again!

We'd fought so hard,

We'd weathered many storms,

We'd willed our hearts to forget,

To never look back.

We had conquered.

And yet rising on que like the sun,

Our demons caught up with us.

How did we get back here?

xoxo

Chido Dziva Chikwari

My pieces are candid and always come from the heart; written late at night or scrambled on a piece of paper urgently. Most times they are raw and incomplete expressions of something on the inside fighting to come out. Most times I don't like the loose ends and there are plenty bits that I don't quite understand but alas; it is what it is.

After finishing this piece I realize I may have a little bit of a theme going on this month - dealing with the past. I struggle with mine. I struggle mostly with keeping it there. Just when I start to relax reminders always pop up and there it is again. Starring me in the face and I have to rework my way back again.

I don't know why but I feel this is somewhat how dealing with depression is like. Sometimes there are good days where you feel happy and then just around the corner that deep dark hole reappears.

Okay, so I get none of that might be making any sense right now so let me try zone it in and bring it home. Have you ever tried to break a bad habit? For example something like biting your nails? When you start the guns are always blazing and you are determined and then for a while you succeed, right? Then you think you've got this and put away your guns then just when you've eased into things and you are all relaxed you find yourself subconsciously biting your nails again. That's kinda what this piece is about. Fighting and falling.

But it's also got a twist to it in that the fight is continuous. Yes you might fail and land yourself at square one again but you keep at it. you Fight some more! It's not a defeated or despondent piece. It's a warriors piece but the only connotation that I couldn't get past is that "the demons are ours". So if they are ours where else would they go because this is actually home?

Keep shining 😊